Metta
Loving-kindness: deliberately wishing yourself, and others, well.
This lesson comes from the Buddhist tradition. You don't need to share the faith to find it useful; take what helps and leave the rest.
The story
A traditional story tells of a group of monks who went to meditate in a forest and found themselves frightened and unsettled there. They returned to the Buddha, who taught them to meet that fear not with resistance but with goodwill.
The teaching they took back is the Metta Sutta, still chanted today. Its central image is one of the most tender in early Buddhist texts.
“Even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings.”
The idea
Metta means loving-kindness: a warm wish for someone's wellbeing. In practice, you quietly repeat a few simple phrases, often starting with yourself or someone it's easy to love.
It can feel awkward at first, and sometimes it even brings up sadness, which teachers sometimes call "backdraft". That's normal; it isn't failing. You're not trying to manufacture a feeling, just to set an intention, again and again.
Studies of loving-kindness meditation suggest it can increase positive emotions and self-compassion over time.
Echoes in other traditions
- Self-compassion
Kristin Neff's self-compassion break offers kindness to yourself in a hard moment.
- Christianity
"Love your neighbour as yourself" assumes the second half matters too.
Try it
Take a breath. Say these slowly, to yourself, a few times, or rewrite them in words that feel true to you.
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Check your understanding
You try metta and it feels awkward and a little sad. What does that mean?
Finish the lesson
Answer the question above to complete the lesson.