One small step

In the mid-1990s, the psychologist Neil Jacobson at the University of Washington ran a study that surprised his field. He compared full cognitive therapy for depression with just one part of it: helping people gradually do more of the activities that mattered to them.

The activity-only version worked about as well as the whole package. It grew into a therapy called behavioural activation, built on a simple principle: you don't have to wait to feel motivated. Often action comes first, and motivation follows.

Knowing what matters is only half of it. ACT calls the other half committed action: turning values into steps small enough to actually take, even with worry along for the ride.

Small is the point. "Be healthier" is a value; "walk to the shop on Tuesday instead of driving" is a step. Steps that say what, when and where are far more likely to happen.

If a step doesn't happen, make it smaller rather than giving up. Each one you take is a vote for the life you want.

• Taoism

  "A journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet." (Tao Te Ching, chapter 64)

• Stoicism

  Epictetus: "No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig."

Think of something that matters to you that has been slipping.

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Which is the best "one small step" towards the value "staying close to my family"?