Name the story

In the early 1980s, the psychologist Steven Hayes had a panic attack in the middle of a faculty meeting. For a long time afterwards he fought his anxious thoughts, and the fight only seemed to make them stronger.

What helped was a different relationship with them: noticing a thought as a thought, rather than wrestling with what it said. That shift became a core part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which Hayes went on to develop with his colleagues.

Some thoughts are stubborn because they're old friends. "I'll end up alone." "I'm about to mess this up." Arguing with them can feel like arguing with a radio.

ACT calls the alternative defusion. Instead of "I'll mess this up", you say "I'm having the thought that I'll mess this up." Or you give the familiar storyline a name: "Ah, the not-good-enough story again."

The thought may still be there, but it's become something you notice rather than something you're inside. That leaves room to do what matters to you anyway.

• Buddhism

  Noting meditation softly labels what arises ("thinking", "worrying") and lets it pass.

• Hindu & yogic traditions

  The witness (sakshi) is the awareness that watches thoughts without being them.

Think of a thought that keeps coming back.

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The thought "I'll be rejected" shows up before a date. Which response is defusion?