The Serenity Prayer
Accept what can't be changed, change what can, and learn to tell the difference.
This lesson comes from the Christian tradition. You don't need to share the faith to find it useful; take what helps and leave the rest.
The story
The American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote a short prayer in the 1930s or early 1940s; the exact date is still debated.
It spread quickly, and in the 1940s Alcoholics Anonymous adopted it. Since then it has been said in church halls, recovery meetings and hospital rooms by millions of people, many of whom aren't religious at all.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
The idea
The prayer asks for three things, and each answers a different trap. Serenity is for the things we exhaust ourselves fighting. Courage is for the things we avoid changing because it's hard.
Wisdom is the hardest: telling the two apart. Anxiety often gets it backwards, wrestling with what can't be changed while avoiding what could.
Serenity isn't approval or giving up. It's choosing where to put a limited amount of energy.
Echoes in other traditions
- Stoicism
Epictetus's "some things are up to us, some are not" is almost the same insight, two thousand years earlier.
- Islam
"Tie your camel, and trust in God."
Try it with something on your mind
Think of a situation that's weighing on you.
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Check your understanding
Which part of the prayer is often the hardest?
Finish the lesson
Answer the question above to complete the lesson.